it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
