I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
