don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
