Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
