absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
