is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
