just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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