none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
