You can't motorboat a personality
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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