giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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