why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
