dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
