Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
