Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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