Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
