I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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