it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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