Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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