I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
