found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Non-Jews are for practice
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
