Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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