Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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