Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The uberlube is also flammable
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
