She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
