Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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