I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
