If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
