Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
