you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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