I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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