Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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