Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
