haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
