Can i not drive my cunt home
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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