You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
