I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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