I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
