do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
