are you still at the devil's house?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
