its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
