just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
