I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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