i think my tv is drunk
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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