Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
