i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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