I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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