is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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