If that was your dad, he is hot
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
