Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
