as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize