if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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