Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
