Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
