I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
