Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
