what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
