Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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