Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
