my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
