Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
