I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish you could order shots online.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
