she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
