You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
