I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize