He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
