she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
