You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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