I will die if light touches me.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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