I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
