Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
