You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
