saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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