that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
